Childhood cancer highjacked our holidays and changed us forever

Because of the way things happened, the holiday season is bound up with childhood cancer for us.

Maizy was diagnosed on Dec. 1, 2023, at 2 years old. But we first noticed something was off the night of Thanksgiving, when we realized she had enlarged lymph nodes. That was our first and really only sign. 

After multiple visits to her pediatrician, we were sent to the ER where she had a CT scan. That’s when they told us they wanted to refer us to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital® on the suspicion that this was cancer. We didn't know what to think. Our whole world shattered at that moment. 

I am a registered nurse. I know catastrophic diseases happen. But I never suspected we would ever deal with childhood cancer. I never would have guessed that it would happen to us.

When we got to St. Jude, my husband and I were a mess. We felt broken. We didn't know what kind of hope to have because we just found out that our daughter might have cancer. The whole time we were just hoping that they were wrong. But also, even though it was the worst time of our life, it felt like St. Jude was picking up the pieces for us. It was like they were showing us that there was a way to hope despite what we were going through.

At St. Jude, it was determined that Maizy had T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Her treatment would last about two and a half years. 

So, there we were, facing our child’s life-threatening diagnosis, the complete upheaval of our lives — and Christmas around the corner. Christmas with a toddler and a baby. We had left all our family back in Alabama. We didn't have any of the kids’ Christmas presents. But that being said, St. Jude gave us an apartment where we could be a family, and gave us gifts for Maizy and her baby sister Piper, so they had presents to open on Christmas morning. They gave us a little normalcy in a chaotic time.

That Christmas away from home changed our outlook on the holidays. To some degree, we will relate Christmas-time with cancer for all the years to come. But if we can alter that by reclaiming the holiday on our terms, we will. 

Last Christmas, we put up our Christmas tree the first week of November. Traditionally people put it up after Thanksgiving, but we didn't get much time with our Christmas tree that first cancer year. So, we choose to go against tradition, because you never know what's going to happen. If something makes us happy, we will just go ahead and do it. 

When we put up our Christmas tree early, the first thing that Maizy did was hug it and say, “I love you, Christmas tree.” And she has the biggest smile when she turns those lights on every day, and it is so gratifying. 

Joy can be very hard to come by when you're going through something like this. If getting into the Christmas spirit early can help us get through, then we'll do it every year. We will seize the moment. We will find joy where we can, and light it all the way up.