Emotional Wellbeing

Episode 5: Emotional Wellbeing

Emotional wellbeing involves being present, having courage, and focusing on what’s important—even in tough times. But emotional health may look different when a child has a serious illness, especially if emotional health needs were there before diagnosis.

In this episode, Clay Culp and Kendra Parris talk with caregiver Patricia LeBlanc and her daughter Sophie about emotional health while Sophie was going through treatment. Sophie was diagnosed with Ewing sarcoma at age 12. Kendra talks about the importance of taking care of yourself before you can take care of your child. Patricia discusses how her vision for Sophie’s life had to shift and explains how they embraced times to play and have fun together. Sophie talks about how her confidence grew and how she learned to manage her anxiety. The group explores the importance of sharing your burdens and getting support. 

A special thank you to our host, Clay Culp, senior social worker at St. Jude; our expert Kendra Parris, associate member of the St. Jude faculty in Psychology and Biobehavioral Sciences; and Patricia and Sophie LeBlanc. 
 
This episode was recorded August 1, 2025. 
 
Learn more about Sophie’s diagnosis of Ewing sarcoma on St. Jude Care & Treatment and Together by St. Jude™. 
 
Learn more about Psychology and Mental Health Services and wound vac therapy on Together by St. Jude™.

A halo brace (or halo vest), mentioned in this episode, is a brace used to keep the spine and neck from moving and protect them after surgery. 

If you’re feeling hopeless, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988, or chatting online for support. 

St. Jude does not endorse any branded product or organization mentioned in this podcast.

Episode Transcript

Narrator (00:02) 
A child's diagnosis of cancer or another serious disease is difficult. Families, guardians, and loved ones experience a range of emotions and often need support related to their child's diagnosis and treatment. St. Jude Children's Research Hospital brings you Caregivers SHARE, a St. Jude podcast. Share stands for support, honor, advise, reflect, encourage. In this series, you'll hear stories and insights directly from the experiences of St. Jude families and care providers.

Clay Culp (00:37) 
Mental wellbeing matters when a child is sick. Strengthening it can help you stay present, open up, and focus on what's important, even in tough times. But how can families prioritize emotional health after a child's diagnosis? I'm Clay Culp, Senior Social Worker at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. In this episode of Caregivers SHARE, I'm joined by caregiver Patricia LeBlanc, her daughter Sophie, and psychologist Kendra Parris to talk about emotional wellbeing during a child's serious illness.

Kendra, can you introduce yourself?

Kendra Parris (01:09) 
Sure. I'm Kendra Parris, a pediatric psychologist and associate member of the faculty in the Department of Psychology and Biobehavioral Sciences at St. Jude. As a pediatric psychologist, I work with youth with catastrophic illnesses to optimize their mental wellbeing and quality of life. We know that mental health challenges can happen anytime, before or after a medical diagnosis, and they're a normal part of life.

I'm really excited to be here today to discuss this topic because taking care of mental health is key for both emotional and physical wellbeing. In my 17 years as a pediatric psychologist, many caregivers have told me that they wish they had paid more attention to their sick child's and their own mental wellbeing. And I have certainly seen firsthand how much of a difference support can make for families.

Clay (02:07) 
Thank you, Kendra. Sophie and Patricia, could you introduce yourselves and tell us a little bit about your journey?

Sophie LeBlanc (02:13) 
Of course. My name is Sophie LeBlanc. I had Ewing sarcoma, and today I am 2 years cancer-free, and some of the things I love to do are rock climbing, video games, and art.

Patricia LeBlanc (02:26) 
Hi, I'm Patricia. I'm Sophie's mom. Sophie was 12 years old at the age of diagnosis. She was rushed to the hospital one night on March 12th of 2022 for being in really severe pain that we just couldn't manage or control at home. And that night we got the results from an MRI that she had a tumor on her C6 vertebrae, and it was growing into her spinal cord. We were unsure at that point in time whether or not it was cancerous or not, but they sent the information over to another hospital and neurosurgeon, and they took a look at it and thought that she had Ewing sarcoma.

They had a jet pick us up the next morning and fly us out to Tennessee. We didn't have time to go home and pack things or say goodbye or prepare for any of this. And so we had an 18-year-old son at home at the time. And my husband stayed with her at the hospital. And I ran home real quick, grabbed a bag that I could carry on the plane with me and said, I think we'll be back in two weeks. And my husband drove to Tennessee and Sophie and I took a flight and we arrived.

She had surgery on her neck to determine, take a biopsy and determine that she did have Ewing sarcoma. She started radiation the next day, and then she started chemo the day after that. And so just four days before, we were oblivious to what the next 14 months were going to hold and how much our life was going to change in that time. We were so blessed that we had people in our lives like Dr. Parris, who helped us manage our emotions and words and how to talk to Sophie and get through those times.

Clay (04:39) 
Thank you so much, all three of you, for being here. Really excited to have this conversation. Before we dive into what you all went through with your mental health while Sophie was on treatment. I want to get your perspective on mental health, emotional health, before Sophie's diagnosis, before all this started. What were your thoughts on mental health?

Patricia (05:03) 
Sophie had some anxiety that she dealt with prior to her diagnosis. She would be a little scared whether or not someone was going to come pick her up from school or did I pack her lunch that day? The outfit that she wore that day, was that going to work well? Those were the kind of mental health issues that we dealt with on a regular basis, and we dealt with them very quickly, moved on. They didn't engulf or encompass our entire lives. And that's the way that we looked at mental health, that it comes, it goes, it's in little pieces, and it was solvable quickly.

When Sophie was diagnosed, we were thrown into the fire pit overnight. Our family was separated. We dealt with impossible decisions for our daughter. And those decisions went on for 14 months. And so it was no longer small, little, solvable issues that could be fixed. But instead, how are we going to continue to put one foot in front of the other and make it through this for 14 full months and be present for our daughter?

Clay (06:25) 
That's such a good point that mental health may look different when it's a situation that is so profoundly out of our control, like a child's diagnosis with a serious illness.

Kendra (06:38) 
And what I want to add is that before families face serious illness, many people have a negative conception of mental illness or of even working with a psychologist. I think some people think that working with a psychologist means that they're crazy, and that is certainly not the case.

As a pediatric psychologist, I've worked with youth with many different challenges, not only associated with their mood or their behavior, but also with aspects of their health, like sleep or appetite. And those all become much more pronounced during serious illness.

Clay (07:17) 
Thank you for saying that, Kendra. I think highlighting the importance of our psychosocial team and seeking help and support is so important. So we heard a little bit about your perspective on mental health before all this started. But now I want to learn about how this actually affected your mental health. What kind of toll did this take? How did this affect you mentally?

Sophie (07:40) 
Yeah, it was definitely a much bigger toll. We weren't as happy and it was a lot of stress and confusion. And I think after the beginning of it, after all the surgeries and thing after thing was kind of over, we got a moment to breathe. We tried to find like anything that we could do, like video games or board games that were a distraction. Any activities or crafts that we could do to distract from either the pain or the nausea and just have a little bit of normalcy.

Kendra (08:22) 
Finding that new normal is hard. And those… first few weeks, months, whatever it may be, it's normal for families to have a lot of struggles. Having difficulty adjusting in the beginning is actually the most common referral that pediatric psychologists receive, and that's because patients and families are still learning how to navigate that new normal.

Patricia (08:44) 
Sophie was 12 years old at the age of diagnosis. When your daughter's brought into a hospital and going through major surgeries, and she's going to wake up in pain and confused about why she is where she is, you're trying to find the answers to tell her all of the things that you need to tell her, like she has cancer and that she's going to be in pain. And we're going to try and do our best to help her with those things.

Luckily, there were a lot of things in place at the hospital to help us with that. We had child life specialists. We had psychologists that came in to help us learn how to talk. And find the right words to discuss those things with her. 

Sophie had a wound vac on her neck for 175 days. She had 9 surgeries, 14 rounds of chemo, 31 fractions of radiation, and a halo on her head for 86 days. And so, throughout the entire treatment time, we were finding new ways to cope with different things. We weren't always in radiation. We didn't always have a halo on our head but things that we learned from the beginning from child life specialists and the psychologists helped us over those full 14 months to learn how to cope with new things that were constantly being introduced throughout that time.

Clay (10:12) 
Yeah, it sounds like you all really grew as this process went along. And I imagine your perspective shifted a little bit, too. When I was getting to know you all, you shared some about this idea of… the vision of Sophie's life and even Sophie, you talked about how you saw your own reality. Can you share a little bit about how that shifted your perspective?

Patricia (10:38) 
Yeah, at the very beginning, I remember Sophie was in a procedure and the doctor came for us to sign paperwork that she needed chemo. And the disclosures at the bottom were things like this would affect fertility. It could affect her heart, her kidneys. And it may not work, but, you know, please sign here because we need to start chemo immediately.

And you're already in the worst possible spot because you know your daughter has cancer. She's in the middle of surgery. But it's the only time that you have available to get this paperwork signed. And I just cried and fell to the floor, falling, crying, because I didn't know how I was going to make this impossible decision that I needed to make. She needed the chemo to live and survive. But I had already had this vision of what our life would be. And I was signing that away. That I felt in that moment I was destroying her life without her consent. She was asleep. And I had to make that call. My husband and I together had to make that call.

And I remember the oncologist came and he held my hands and he said, I understand where you're coming from. I feel your pain. He's like, but that was your vision of what your daughter's life was going to be. That was never reality of what it was actually going to be. And in that moment, I realized that I did have this entire plan for what her life would look like. And I needed to let that go and instead start living every single day for what it was and try and find joy and happiness and love and all those little moments.

Clay (12:26) 
Yeah, that's such a powerful story of coming to grips in real time with this drastic change in your lives.

Kendra (12:36) 
And your ability to do that likely helped Sophie and her ability to cope. We use this analogy a lot in the field of psychology about when you're on an airplane, you hear them announce that parents need to put on their oxygen mask before they put on their child's oxygen mask. And similarly, when we're faced with these types of situations, it's so critical for caregivers to take care of themselves, find ways to discover moments of joy and happiness so that you can then help your sick child to do the same.

Patricia (13:16) 
And at the beginning… I didn't eat for a few days, and I like lost my balance and almost fell over. My husband caught me and he's like, when was the last time you had eaten? I couldn't remember. Our daughter had been going in and out of surgeries and I couldn't imagine like actually stopping to put food in my mouth or enjoying anything. I was just in a depression mode. And I'd never felt this in my entire life, this feeling that I was having, but I just didn't want to do anything except for just be there for her.

And I realized in that moment, and my husband pointed out to me, if you don't eat and you don't get your strength, how are we going to take care of her? And so he brought me to the cafeteria. I remember to this day what I ate, but it was a little like salami cheese and cracker packet, you know, and just… bite by bite, I tried to get it down and got some water down, so that way, when she woke up from that surgery, I could start being the best and strongest that I could possibly be.

Eventually, that turned into every time I would walk to the cafeteria on my way back, I would carry the food in each hand—water bottles in one, food in the other— and do bicep curls. And I would do squats in the elevator. Which, by the way, I learned as the elevator is going up and you're squatting down can make you very dizzy. But I would love to see the video footage of the hospital one day of all the lunges and straight arm flexion and all those things that I did to try and get some exercise in, but also burn off any anxiety or stress that I had in those few moments throughout the day that I was away from her.

Kendra (15:13) 
What you really did in those moments is focus on what we call the key pillars of health. So exercise, sleep, nutrition, those are fundamental parts of life that we all need to survive.

Clay (15:28) 
Yeah, I love that you're highlighting how these little things can matter along the way. I think when something so overwhelming like that, it can feel like, well, how is a little bicep curl going to help, right? How is a lunge going to help? But those little things really do matter. And I'm thinking about you, Sophie, and your story here too. There were some things that helped you along the way. In particular, I'm thinking about how this concept of a surprise box really kind of helped your progress? Would you be willing to share about that?

Sophie (16:05) 
Yeah. So before treatment and everything, I had a lot of anxiety and it was a huge factor in my life of I couldn't do shots. I didn't really take medicine unless I absolutely needed it. And that was a really big problem whenever we got to the hospital because that's what you need.  

And it would take me about 22 minutes to get a shot. And that was a problem whenever I had neck surgery and a G-tube because crying made it worse. And I had more pain. And then I would cry over that. And it was a horrible cycle that shouldn't have happened.  

And eventually we came up with a solution of a prize box where we put little plushies or little toys in it that if I got a shot in 2 minutes—and I could cry in those 2 minutes—but if I did it in 2 minutes I would get to pick out of the box.  

And it was always a mystery but eventually the curiosity of what was in there got to me and eventually I did it in 2 minutes and now I'm able to do a shot in less than 10 seconds. And it definitely helped with the anxiety of, it's going to hurt, but it's only going to hurt for a few seconds. And it's something I have to do, but I can get over it. 

Kendra (17:48) 
We were able to find this really great and I'd say almost easy solution to helping you with this pretty significant anxiety. And I think the reason this was so successful is that we had the opportunity to spend time together and I got to know you. And so we could creatively implement some techniques to help you in these really hard situations. A psychologist might not always jump to using incentives for severe anxiety, but because I knew you, we were able to use that as something to really help motivate you. 

Sophie (18:27) 
Yeah. 

Clay (18:27) 
I appreciate you saying that, Kendra. It leads me to think about this overall idea of seeking help and sometimes feeling like we have to be strong enough to do things on our own. And I'm wondering what that was like for you all to actually ask for help. 

Patricia (18:50) 
At the very beginning, I was scared to call family members or friends and really talk about the dark stuff. They would say, How's Sophie doing? I'm like, We're good, we're doing good, which was the farthest from the truth. But I didn't want to tell anyone that I didn't know what tomorrow was going to hold. I didn't know if Sophie was going to make it out of this. If my family was going to make it out of this. We weren't together.  

And eventually, I was able to start trusting family members more so that I could really let my feelings out about how I was feeling. And trusting that that was going to stay between the 2 of us. And I even got to talk to some employees and psychologists. And once I had gotten those things off my chest and said them out loud, they didn't hold as much power as they did when I was just holding them inside. 

Because just like at the beginning when I had this vision of what Sophie's life was going to be like, that was just a vision. And just like I held all these anxieties and fears inside of me, they were just anxieties and fears, and they weren't reality yet. I had found myself in the same situation over again, thinking of worst-case scenarios of what could happen. But those were not reality. And if I got those out and talked to people, they held less power. 

Kendra (20:26) 
I'm glad that you finally found that comfort in talking to your family and friends. It's really common for us as humans to think that we are strong enough to take on heavy burdens on our own. But sometimes we do need help. And whether that is talking to a family member, talking to a friend, talking to a professional, or maybe even sometimes taking a medicine to help us—all of those things can be really helpful as we're dealing with these really hard challenges of serious illness. 

Clay (20:57) 
The other thing that I see that's similar with you all too is like you're speaking to this importance of allowing yourself to have the feeling. Going back to what you were saying, Sophie, about the prize box, you had those 2 minutes to feel whatever it was that you were feeling. And even just having that can be so important. And I see that in what you're saying too, Patricia, about being able to simply acknowledge and be heard sometimes is the best medicine of all. 

Patricia (21:32) 
Yeah, and I never wanted to squash that in Sophie. I wanted her to be able to cry and be mad and angry and whatever she was feeling in those moments, because I was also feeling the same things. At the end of the day. We had to do this treatment and we had to get those shots and had to wake up every 2 hours to be able to get through it and fight the cancer. And so I wore a bracelet throughout the entire treatment that said one step at a time. And we used that all the time throughout the full 14 months and even after. I would just look down at the bracelet when I was dealing with something tough and didn't know what to do next and just remind myself: I have to put one foot in front of the other and think no further than that, you know, just take that step.

Clay (22:34) 
Patricia, you're talking about taking that one next step, that one day at a time. And I think that's beautiful. And I know that at times taking that next step can be so, so hard. Sophie, can you talk about some of those times when even taking that next step became so hard?

Sophie (22:55) 
Yeah. During a lot of the hard parts where it just felt like we were doing the same thing over and over and I was always in pain or I was always nauseous throwing up, it just felt like it was never ending. Like it was just going to continue to be painful or always throwing up. And there was a time when I did think about like, you know, I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. Like I'm tired of throwing up and I'm tired of going to this appointment in the middle of the night and all of the hard stuff. 

And eventually my mom called Miss Kendra, a psychologist. And we sat down and we talked about it. And my thought was that I wasn't fighting for me anymore. I was fighting for my parents and my brother and my friends and my family and all the people that I loved and that loved me. And, you know, I couldn't imagine what they would experience if I wasn't there anymore. And I didn't want to put that on them. So the rest of it, I always fought for them. And that was my push through the entire thing.

Kendra (24:23) 
This type of experience is exactly why children's hospitals have so many supports available to patients and families, because there are very trying and challenging times. And it's also very common and normal for patients, especially teenagers, to maybe feel uncomfortable talking with their caregivers about some of these really hard things. They don't want to add another burden to their caregivers. And so I'd encourage any caregivers or patients who are listening to this to know that it's normal to go through these hard times and there are supports available.

Clay (24:58) 
Thank you so much for sharing so vulnerably with us. I think that so many people who hear this are going to relate to that. Some of those things that we don't always share, like you were saying, Patricia, but once we share them, we often find that we're not alone. So many people go through exactly this. And I appreciate just how real it is. I imagine people also listening to this thinking, how can I even feel mentally healthy when things are so bad? But there's other perspectives here too about how you all grew from this, how you all changed in some really important ways. I'm wondering if you can share that with us.

Patricia (25:48) 
Well, one thing that happened just the other morning on our way up here, I had a bracelet that I bought on a family vacation trip that we recently took. And I had my whole family together for this trip. And that meant a lot to us to all be together. And the bracelet said FAMILY on it. We bought it on a trip to New York. And the morning we were leaving to come here, I was putting it on and it popped and it flew everywhere. Even over my sink. And so I think I lost some of the beads in there. 

And I was crawling on the ground and I'm trying to put it all back together and find all the pieces to it. And I get almost all, but I realized I'm definitely missing an F. And I don't remember the order that all these different beads went in. And I just wanted to cry sitting there on the floor. It meant so much to me, and it was gone.

And then I sat there and I thought for a minute and I was like, Sophie and I used to make bracelets and we have beads in this house, and I know I have a letter F somewhere and that I could put this bracelet back together. 

It wouldn't look the same, but it would have a lot of the original pieces. It would have some new pieces and it would still bring amazing memories to me and happiness throughout the day. And so it meant so much to me to realize in that moment that my family is not the same as it was before treatment. It's not going to be the same in the future, but I have my family together and I love all the times and new adventures that we're doing and learning together.

Clay (27:34) 
Appreciate you sharing that. I think that speaks to this sense of resilience that I see so often families tapping into. It's hard, but there is this other side of it. And Sophie, you had your own growth with this. I know that you went through a lot, and it sounds like you feel stronger as a result.

Sophie (27:55) 
Before treatment, I definitely had a lot of anxiety and a little self-consciousness too. I was always worried people were judging or staring. And then whenever I tell people that I went through cancer and all of these things, they think it's the worst thing ever, which it was. 

But whenever I look back at it, I'm like, I did lose some things and it was very hard, but I also felt like I gained so much from it. Like I can't imagine being the person that I am today without it, the confidence that I got from it, of being in a wheelchair and halo and being bald. I got a lot of looks. 

And it was just the funniest thing ever. I was in the wheelchair, bald, with a halo, and we were just going down one of the aisles in Target. And this kid sees me and he's just like staring at me hard and he's just like his head's turned and he keeps walking and he runs into this random person. This mom is like come here come here come here she's like let's go come on this way and it was just the funniest thing ever because I was like this kid is probably like how do I get that like what is that? I can't look more crazy than that so it just… 

The confidence just helped so much in school and everything. Like I got to do more things than I was able to do because I wasn't so stressed about it. It definitely helped a lot.

Clay (29:36) 
Yeah. It's like nothing can faze you now after going through all of that. And that's such incredible progress from where you came and such a beautiful reflection to consider how far you've come.

Patricia (29:52) 
Those were some of the things that we were working on throughout treatment. She was 12 at the age of diagnosis, and she's 16 now. But we were finding ways to help her find her own voice throughout treatment to say, please ask before you touch my G-tube, or please ask me before you come to draw my blood, take my temperature. Please don't touch my bed. I just had major neck surgery, and that hurts. Those kinds of things, giving… Helping her to find her own voice so that she could find ways to stand up for herself and let everyone know how she was feeling and what she needed became really, really important throughout treatment. And it was amazing to see her grow over those 14 months and just still so amazing to see her grow as a person.

Clay (30:49) 
Yeah, you all make an incredible team, the way you all were able to get through this together. You 2 and as a family. So as we begin to come to a close, I'm wondering if there's anything else that we haven't gotten a chance to talk about that you all want to share.

Patricia (31:07) 
Some of the joyful times that we found to help with mental health and the times that were really tough were putting music on at 2 a.m. in the morning and getting up and dancing and giggling all night despite the fact that we knew we had a long day the next day. But we didn't have to lay there in pain or we didn't have to lay there and worry. So we would play board games or video games together and paint sometimes all night long. Just whatever it took to help us move forward.

Clay (31:46) 
I think that's really special. All the little things that you all figured out on your own. To do to support yourselves together. And we also know the importance of seeking help. And sometimes we do need a little bit more help. So Kendra, I'm wondering, what are the things that parents can look for when maybe their kid does need some extra help, or themselves?

Kendra (32:11) 
I'm really glad you asked that question, Clay, because that's a question I get a lot from caregivers is, what do I look for? How do I know if my child needs some extra support? And mental health challenges or struggles with mental wellbeing can present in a lot of different ways. And you as your child's caregiver know your child best. But if you see changes in their mood or their behavior, especially changes that persist over time, seem way more pronounced than they should be, or are pervasive across different settings, that might be a sign that your child needs some extra support.

And if that's the case, I would strongly encourage you to talk to your child's medical team. Consider requesting a referral to a mental health provider if your hospital has one. If not, ask for another psychosocial provider. And certainly families can also look for resources in their community. If that is the route that you're going to go, you can ask for referrals from your medical team or even from your child's pediatrician. You can also look through your insurance provider and see who accepts your insurance.  

And I just want to highlight that when working with a psychologist or a mental health provider, sometimes it's a trial-and-error process. You may connect with someone, see them for a few sessions, and it just does not feel like the right fit. And that's okay. That happens a lot. I just encourage you to try again. Try someone different. You will find the right person and the right fit eventually.

Clay (33:42) 
Thank you, Kendra. Patricia, and Sophie for your time, intention, and vulnerability today.

Kendra (33:48) 
Thank you for having us on, Clay.

Sophie (33:50) 
Yeah, thanks for having us.

Patricia (33:52) 
Thank you for letting us tell our story.

Clay (33:54) 
It was wonderful. And for our listeners, thank you. And be sure to check out the show notes for resources on emotional health and finding a mental health provider. If you're feeling hopeless, contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or chatting online for support.

Narrator (34:12) 
Thank you for listening to Caregivers SHARE, a podcast lovingly brought to you by Patient Family-Centered Care and Psychosocial Services at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Please subscribe, leave a comment, and share this podcast with others who may benefit from this support. Visit stjude.org/caregivers-share for show notes and educational links related to each episode.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not render medical advice or professional services. This podcast does not establish a patient relationship between the listener and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. The opinions expressed belong to the caregivers. Your personal experience may differ. If you have questions about individual health concerns, psychosocial needs, or specific treatment options, please discuss them with your child's medical team.  

Accuracy and availability of Caregivers SHARE: A St. Jude Podcast transcripts may vary. Transcript text may be revised to correct errors or match updates to audio. Audio on stjude.org may be edited after its original publication. The authoritative record of Caregivers SHARE: A St. Jude Podcast episode content is the audio record.